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Tuesday, November 22, 2016

THANKFUL THIS THANKSGIVING? THAT MIGHT BE A STRETCH...


          In a couple of days families all over America will be gathering for their annual feasts, and more than a few of those happy Thanksgiving reunions will be spoiled by political bickering. 
Those of us who have been nauseous since the first cable networks began to call the election for The Great Grabsby will have to settle into our chairs alongside smirking relatives who helped put Trump's tiny hand on the Bible for the oath of office next January. For some of us, it will be all we can do to avoid pulling our hair and screaming, "What the holy flying fuck were you people thinking!"

           I'm pretty sure that would be inappropriate for the Thanksgiving table. It would be even worse if one were to have such a meltdown at the kids' table. 

           So here's to all of you who will need copious amounts of adult beverages or recreational narcotics, or both, in order to get through the next few days. May your travels be safe, your debates civil, and your families intact when the dust settles on the turkey's carcass. Remind yourself that unlike friends, you can't choose your family. After all, if we could choose our families, it's possible that a lot of us wouldn't be invited over for dinner. Works both ways, you know?

            Take it all with a grain of salt (or a shot of grain alcohol...), smile, and remember that in a few short months even the most strident of Trumpeters will try to deny having voted for the guy. Elections have consequences, and as bleak as things might seem on the precipice of Trump's inauguration, there may be silver linings on some of the storm clouds. I can't think of any, at the moment. But I'm sure there are a few. Somewhere. 

             Nevermind. Go ahead and sob into your giblet gravy... Your conservative brother-in-law has been waiting eight years for this meal. The least you can do is put on an appropriate display of despair. It's expected, like a mountain of dirty dishes and tryptophan induced grogginess. 

              Sigh...