Friday, September 27, 2013


           In case people in these parts aren't aware of it, Sen. Lamar! Alexander is in a primary fight against a Tea Party state representative for his seat in the U.S. Senate, and up until now that "fight" has been a back-and-forth of hot air quotes and press releases, creating much ado about nothing.  But all that changed yesterday.  Now, as they say, it's on!

           Lamar! spoke on the Senate floor concerning his colleague Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas and his "Cruz Missile Kamikaze" marathon speech on the Senate floor, a speech that wasn't quite a filibuster and wasn't actually much of a speech, in which is purportedly blasted the implementation of Obamacare.  Most observers, even supporters of Cruz's efforts, admitted it was a futile waste of time and energy, and some suggested it was merely another example of Cruz grandstanding on behalf of the lunatic fringe of the GOP.

         But only someone as erudite as Lamar! Alexander could find a fitting Texas-and-Tennessee-and-Liberty-for-All connection between the tactics of Ted Cruz and the Battle of the Alamo and Texas independence.

           According to this story, here's was Lamar! had to say about Cruz and his Dr. Seuss oratorical dry heaves:

 “…Former Congressman Davy Crockett said I think I will go to the Alamo…some people said Davy if you go to the Alamo you’ll get killed, he went to the Alamo he did get killed.” Alexander continued by saying, “Sam Houston took a different tact, he withdrew to San Jacinto. He was heavily criticized by some people at that time for withdrawing. We celebrate Texas Independence Day on March 2, 1836 because Sam Houston won the war. The moral of the story is that sometimes in a long battle patience is a valuable tactic and that’s why I’m in Sam Houston’s Camp on this one. I’m not in the shut-down-the government camp.”

             You might gather from that reference that Lamar! doesn't favor shutting down the government and ruining the economy, and his Party's political future, just to make a philosophical point about Obamacare.  So he spoke of Sam Houston's tactics of withdraw, organize, and re-enter the fray, and compared Cruz's tactics to the fate that befell Tennessee state hero Davy Crockett at the Alamo.  The only quibble I might have with Lamar's historical recollection is that Crockett, in fact, wasn't warned that the Alamo was doomed.  He just took some men and rode down to San Antonio because it sounded like a great adventure that would help wash the taste of Washington D.C. out of his craw.  It was later on in the siege that he realized he should have stayed home in Tennessee.

              But Alexander's opponent in the upcoming Senate race isn't interested in historical corrections, he just wants everyone in the Volunteer State to know that he, unlike Sen. Alexander, doesn't regard Davy Crockett as some fool on a suicide mission.  Nope, he's proud of Davy and wants Tennessee's voters to know that, loud and clear.  Here's what he said about Lamar! and his disparaging remarks about Davy Crockett:

“Not only did Sen. Alexander fail to emulate the views of his constituents in Tennessee who overwhelmingly support Sen. Ted Cruz and his efforts to defund Obamacare, he stood on the Senate floor and criticized Tennesseans who stand on principle including one of the most famous…Davy Crockett. I am in the fight for Tennesseans Camp.” says Rep. Joe Carr.
“Without Davy Crockett staying and fighting at the Alamo and heroically sacrificing his life for the principles Tennesseans believe in, Texas Independence Day would never have been possible. It was the bravery of Davy Crockett and thirty-one Tennesseans at the Alamo who gave their lives that allowed the time necessary for Sam Houston to recruit the men necessary to beat Santa Anna and the Mexican army. It is worth noting that the battle cry for the remainder of the war was “Remember the Alamo!” I don’t believe their sacrifice was in vain and I am sure General Sam Houston would agree,” says Rep. Joe Carr.
“Davy Crockett understood the importance of the Declaration of in Independence, which says “…we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our Sacred Honor.” Generations of Tennesseans have honorably given their lives in service of our country. From the Alamo to those men and women serving in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, their memory should be honored, not be used as political theatre for self-enrichment of a career politician who doesn’t believe in self-sacrifice,” says Rep. Joe Carr.

            Got all that?  Lamar! sucks because he doesn't love Davy Crockett.  And that's an affront to the men and women who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Or something.  Not sure where he was going there toward the end.  Perhaps we haven't gotten the rest of the text Rep. Joe Carr pulled that opinion from, and that's why there's some confusion.

            You see, Carr was recently scolded for having plagiarized the written work of the Heritage Foundation when filling out a Tea Party questionnaire designed to cull out the RINO's from any primary herd.  Carr admitted he had pilfered the lines used in his survey answers, but offered this in way of defense:

“When we were crafting our answers, I went to various sources — not just Heritage, but a number of resources — to do the research,” he said. “I certainly would never imply that my thoughts or ideas or views are exclusively my own, and I certainly didn’t represent them in the questionnaire that way.” 

       No, Joe Carr doesn't want anyone to think his thoughts or ideas are exclusively his own.  They're designed to be whatever you want them to be, just tell him what you want him to say, think, or do.  And vote.

               Holy shit.  A boring as hell campaign just pulled from the history books to pair off Davy Crockett and Sam Houston in a cage ring death match to the finish.

               We can't wait for the next installment of this little squabble.  And as soon as Joe Carr finds something from Heritage to quote, he'll speak right up.

              Stay tuned, Tennesseans!   


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