Ever get one of those momentary flashes of epiphany that tells you just how old you really are? Earlier this year, my lovely (and dangerous) wife and her six year old niece were with me in my old Firebird when I did something so ordinary it prompted a question from the kid in the backseat:
"Aunt Cindy? What is Bob doing?"
My wife looked over at me as I rolled up the driver's side window with the hand crank, then started to laugh.
Apparently, that was the very first time her niece had seen someone manually "rolling up" a window. She found the whole cranking thing captivating, and as soon as we had parked the car in our driveway and she was released from her car seat, she had to dash around to my door to try it herself.
"Cool!" she exclaimed, cranking the window up and down in amazement.
Of course, the fact that I still owned a car that required physical effort to open or close a window was a bit of an indictment for my hatred of car dealerships and the car purchasing process. I'll drive a car into the dirt before I'll put myself through the new car ordeal with a sleazy salesman. I'd rather have a root canal.
But I digress... We of the window crank generation are looked upon as something quaint to be tolerated. We say odd things... A lunatic wires his apartment to explode if anyone opens the door, and the talking heads on television tell us the place was "booby trapped."
Booby-trapped? I've heard the phrase a million times in my life, but suddenly I'm hearing things with a new curiosity because we've been keeping a child all summer. I had to look it up... Turns out the word "booby" has been used to mean "dunce" since the 17th century, and "booby trap" was originally meant to mean "practical joke." It wasn't until later that the things became deadly and the meaning evolved into what we're hearing on the nightly news these days.
When the Aurora shootings were all over the news, my wife's niece glanced at the coverage and had this to say about the whole deal: "That's messed up."
My thoughts exactly, kid.
But we say bizarre things all the time as if a kid is just expected to know what the hell we're talking about.
"Don't leave the door open! Were you born in a barn?" (which my wife's niece tried to repeat later when I left the door open, and it came out as "Close the door! Were you raised on a farm?"... cute kid...)
"I love this album!" (which a kid hears and instead of thinking "music", thinks photo book)
We look at analog clocks to tell us the time of day, whereas kids will glance at their cell phones or other devices for a digital readout of the time and date. We tie our shoes with actual laces, and the Velcro generation thinks, "How primitive!"
And somewhere out there there's a kid who's never seen anyone actually rolling down a car window and has no idea why we refer to it that way...
17 comments:
I have windows you need to roll up by hand on my truck. No automatic locks, either, which means my passenger side door is almost NEVER locked (no on but no one locks that door!).
Until very recently, I also had an OOOOOLD cell phone. Ehen I got a new one, I said at work that I was glad, because it's hard tot ext with a rotary phone. Two people had to Google "rotary phone" to get the joke.
Katy, it's funny you mentioned rotary phones! We took the kid to an antique shop a couple of weeks ago and she was fascinated by an old rotary phone, played with it for about five minutes.
Another term for that is crank as in crank up the window. How about when the engine won't turn over and you say it won't crank. How many people know about using a crank to start a car????
Speaking of cranks, when I was a kid the phone had a crank to ring up the operator. It was like the old black rotary dial phone with a crank where the dial would be. And ten homes on the party line.
I felt old the day my son asked, "Mom, did they have sidewalks when you were a kid?" (Actually, we lived on a country road, and DIDN'T have sidewalks.)
Kulk, that's even before my time, man!
Cynthianne, here's one for you: one day when my son was about twelve he was bitching and moaning because he didn't have the newest, fastest, jumping-est brand of sneakers like "EVERYONE ELSE HAS" at school... so I took him to the mall with my meager single-guy-paying-child-support cash to buy him some new shoes. After seeing the price tag on the ones he wanted, I convinced him (ahem...) to buy a cheaper brand I could afford. He grumbled but agreed.
On the ride home I was trying to tell him about OUR tennis shoe choices when I was a kid, thinking that hearing about the old Keds brand might cheer him up. I asked, "Do you know what kind of shoes we had to wear when I was your age?"
His reply: "Wooden?"
probably the funniest thing the little shit ever said. I thought his older sister in the front seat was going to pass out laughing.
Nice trip down memory lane! Now I really feel like a relic. I totally agree with your take on the car dealers. You could probably do a blog on that alone! There's nothing worse than having to sit there and try to outwit a car salesman. They love it when a single woman comes in to try and do business. Ugh
Justin's best line is still the one about mom's oxygen tube in the car. You gotta write about that one!!
PTenn, you're right. I'd forgotten all about the oxygen line comment... might work on that one tomorrow! Thanks!
Patricia, When you're our age you have to watch those trips down memory lane... we could break a hip!
My son (who's now an adult, more or less) has gone to work for a company called CarMax and he sent me to one of their dealerships for our last vehicle purchase. I was blown away by the concept of having their price on the window, non-negotiable, and they come out and give you an offer on your car. You can do the math and decide whether or not you want to buy from them. No haggling, no extra headaches as the salesman leaves the room to get the approval of a non-existent sales manager, no "undercoating" charges, nothing. Pretty cut and dried. Best car buying experience of my life, highly recommend them if you ever want another vehicle.
You can still get manual windows on the bottom of the line models of economy cars like the Kia Rio and Ford Fiesta. I doubt if many people go for the bare bones model, but window cranks are still being offered.
There are still some places in far rural Maine with crank telephones. the Moosehorn exchange in Rangeley, Maine still had some crank phones at logging camps the last time I checked.
I would be probably fall for a booby trap - matter of fact I think I have a time or two.
the Ol'Buzzard
Nan, my first experience with an electric window was with a Chrysler Lebaron. The driver's side window switch didn't work on the car when I bought it, so I had to open the door at drive thru ATMs, fast food places, etc. After putting up with this for two years, one afternoon during a driving rain I happened to be tapping my finger on the control switch in time to a Pink Floyd song on the radio, and THAT's when the switched worked and lowered the window about two inches. Of course, it wouldn't go back up. At all.
Had to take the sumbitch in and get it fixed after that.
As nice as electric locks and mirrors and windows are, I prefer knowing I can get one to operate manually if necessary.
Buzz, I haven't met a straight man yet who hasn't fallen prey to a booby trap. Some of my worst mistakes were boob related. After all, my motto for life's problems is "Pussy Makes you Stupid"
PMYS. Explains everything.
Please someone tell me what in the Hell is so special about power windows to begin with?
For my wife they are a required item on any car we consider buying.
Do they even make manual rollup windows anymore?
My first car with power windows was a used '58 T-Bird. Seems like the windows would work fine until you needed to put them up when it started to rain. Then you played hell tiggling the switch to get the window to work!!
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