Friday, July 6, 2012


         Those of you who live outside of the middle Tennessee area probably aren't familiar with the free weekly hate rag we can pick up at local area establishments, and that's a damn shame.  It really is.  You wouldn't believe how much sick pleasure I get from digging through the pages of The Rutherford Reader every week.  It's sort of like glancing at the headlines of The National Enquiror while standing in line at a grocery store... You know it's bullshit, but you really are curious to know about Elvis and Bigfoot being spotted on the UFO over the nudist colony.
          Yesterday we took my wife's niece to Bell Buckle, Tennessee for lunch at The Bell Buckle Cafe.  Bell Buckle is a charming little throwback village more closely resembling Mayberry than any real town.  It consists of a post office, a great cafe, and about ten antique shops.  If you're ever in middle Tennessee, find Bell Buckle on your map and take a detour back through time.
          Anyway, on our way out of the cafe after lunch I grabbed a copy of The Reader and once we were back home took a few moments to see what the local lunatics were up to.  Normally I wear rubber gloves and use tongs to read The Reader, but yesterday I just dove in barehanded.
          After reading several of the editorials and letters ranting about the impending Muslim hordes who were actively trying to indoctrinate our children in the local school system (and one particularly vile letter was penned by the documentary filmmaker Eric Allen Bell, of whom I wrote last week... but I digress) I found an article under a banner called "Patrick's Blog".
          Patrick started his article with a rant about The Affordable Care Act and how it was such a horrible thing for America.  But the second part of Patrick's Blog was entitled, "The Wussification of Men in America" and seems to have been inspired by an incident in which "Patrick" was forced to change his son's diaper in a public restroom.
          After a few paragraphs about the joys of parenting and how much he loves women, especially his wife, Patrick had this to say about feminism and the women's rights movement in America:

I would venture to say that the women’s rights movement has done more damage

to our society than good. Disagree if you wish, but it’s true. I’m not saying women

don’t deserve respect, dignity and an opportunity to have careers and dreams. I’m merely

saying that with the way society has changed, men’s roles have changed drastically and it

seems to be that it’s no longer acceptable for a man to work a long hard day and come home

to a meal prepared by his wife where the laundry is clean and put away, house cleaned and

children kept.

                 I couldn't WAIT to show that paragraph to my lovely (and thoroughly dangerous) wife.  I stood behind her as she read, hand poised on the kitchen sink's spray nozzle just in case it became necessary to hose her down in the event of a meltdown.  (I was once a Boy Scout and believe in being prepared...)
        Yeah, we all know how much we love coming home from a long hard day to a fine meal prepared by June Cleaver in an evening gown, with the laundry cleaned and put away in a spotless home full of "kept" children.
         Too funny for words...  Even my wife had to laugh at this idiot's commentary.  Once you've read a few lines like that it's hard not to imagine the hard life a guy like that has had to endure.  Which probably explains why his attitudes about everything else are just as fucked up as his views on women's issues.
          He longs for those good ol' Mayberry Daze, where the folks were all happy, cheerful, eccentric, and lily white, and the where the women wore dresses and tended to the house and kids.

           Too bad reality has such a liberal bias, isn't it?


the yellow fringe said...

Barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen is kind of the red necks burka isn't it?

squatlo said...

Hard to believe someone would write something like that and not expect some blowback. In fact, I'd be surprised if anything got blown in this guy's immediate future, except the opportunity to actually GET blown.

what an idiot...

Weasel Tracks said...

Barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen is kind of the red necks burka isn't it?

I think you may have a winning phrase there.

The Noble Strumpet said...

Delighted to find your blog. We moved to Murfreesboro from San Antonio back in May 2010. I never thought I'd find a place that would make Texas seem the better alternative 'til I came here. Keep posting!

squatlo said...

Noble Strumpet, please don't say those things in print! If you want my email address you can tell me privately how much better Texas is than Murfreesboro, but please don't say it on the blobber! See, there's this guy called "Mooner" who checks in fairly often, and he lives in Austin... thinks that burnt orange the Longhorns wear is way better than the true orange our Vols wear in Knoxville. That's one of his many charms.
I keep telling him that were it not for Tennessee there never would have been a Texas, and that's something we should never stop apologizing for to the rest of the country.
Welcome to Murfburr, Ma'am, hope you make it a habit to check in over here and leave comments!

Cthulhu said...

Yellow Fringe, thats the most apt description of the Talibaptists I've seen yet. Excellent.

Squantlo, as an Tennessee immigrant fleeing Floriduh, I have to say, Tn. is better than Fl, and far surperior to Texas.

Which isn't to say that some of the mouthbreathers here ain't as bass-ackwards as the ones there.

Still, I do love my little town of Cookeville.

squatlo said...

Cthulhu, Cookeville's our stop-n-gas point between Murfreesboro and the Smokies... where every car on I-40 is required to pull of the interstate for fast food, I believe.
Happy to hear we've got Floriduh and Tay-Hass beat, it confirms what I already know to be true.

C'mon back!

Ol'Buzzard said...

The only thing I miss about the south is the cooking. I think about catfish and beans at Willow Pond and my mouth waters. And fried one north of the Mason Dixon knows how to cook chicken.

The food is great, but unfortunately it is served with a helping of Bible ignorance.
the Ol'Buzzard

Ol'Buzzard said...
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